Monday, May 27, 2013

Yeah . It's been some time I didn't update my blog space . Time to renew it again . Hmm .
So , holiday have started for few days . And on the first day of holiday , I've went to KL for vacation . Just 2 days and a night , short enough . I'm a 'genius' , I forget to bring my wallet there , so , I can't buy ANYTHING . Skip all the KL part .

Let's talk about my exam . Hmm . Results not really showed-up as I've expected this to happen . But overall , I'm consider satisfied with my result . Am I ? I don't know . Maybe not really . By the way , should I be proud to tell the whole world that I failed my additional maths with 34 marks ? Just 6 more marks ! 6 more marks , and I will get a PASS . Frankly speaking , how do all those freaks score 100 in additional maths ? Are they crazy ? Doing maths without making any mistakes ? Wow . That's fantastic . I salute them . Hmm . Hopefully that I will get at least an 'A' as a motivation for myself to study more . The last week of school before holiday is just 3 days , for me . That's awesome !!

Furthermore , I'm gonna talk about things that happened to me these days . There's blue and there's cloud nine . (: Let's talk about the delighted ones first .
Erm . So , my birthday is just round the corner , and I'm seriously touched by my friends . They've decided to celebrate my birthday for me as I've failed to celebrate my birthday happily with my friends for the last few years . It really melt my heart when I know this . I love surprise . Love surprises very much . That's why I don't like to guess what they're trying to do . Hmm . Can't wait for that day to come . There's no wishlist for me this year . I just sincerely hope that I will have a blessed , unexpected , enjoyable and unforgettable birthday bash . It's just that simple . :')

These girls are the ones who is planning for my birthday . And the one who is not in uniform is our English teacher for 3 months . This photo was taken a month ago .

In contrast , here comes the blue ones . You , can I conclude to myself that you don't understand me ? Hmm . Maybe nope . You're the one who understand me the most , not everytime . (: I remember your words deeply that night . You told me :'' No surprises , no presents , no anything , nothing for you on your birthday '' . Hmm . You don't know this sentence from your mouth have hurt me . Heart-warming myself that this is not true , you're gonna give me surprises on my sweet 16 . Optimistically there's miracles happen very soon as I never had a dream come true . :')

And you again , you've make me lack of security and trust on you . Our relationship aren't that perfect like last time . I can't find any solution to solve the problem . What can I do ? Or maybe I'm too selfish ? Too selfish that I need you all of the time ? I don't want to rely on you all the time , I'm trying my best not to , but it makes me feel insecurity and I sees distance between us . I don't like being in this way . My attitude had became serious and more serious as what we called - '' Princess attitude '' . I'm seriously depending on you too much , way much . And a weird feel is coming towards me but I don't know how to express it out and I don't know whom can I express it out , not you , but other . How much I wish I can turn back time and live on this earth without any stress , feelings and more and more .

How much I wish I could be happy as a lark and smile everyday to face life . Photo taken in 2011 .

In conclusion , I hope that I could look on the bright side , and make everything from the worst to the best . I know I can do it . Although I'm not at the top of the world , but I will try my best to make it . Never give up in achieving things you think it's impossible . Make the impossible to possible and you'll have light at the end of the tunnel . (:

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